I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have post one night stand depression
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
