Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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