I wish I could punch you in the face.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
