Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
