Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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