why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
