That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
