I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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