I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
