im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
