is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
