can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
what is it with giant penises always finding me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
