so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
