he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
