what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
