New invention idea: vibrating tampons
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
