oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
