i think my tv is drunk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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