Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
