If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
