your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
