You work out of a Hotel?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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