Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Randomize
