At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
