i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize