'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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