if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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