I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
