i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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