If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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