haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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