And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
