Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
