i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
