Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just tell him i said nine months
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
