so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
