he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Acid is not a monday night drug
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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