I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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