her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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