heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
