i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
