4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
