it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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