omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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