i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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