who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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