normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
