mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
