We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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