We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
